How many of these sound familiar?
- You know you’re not living your Happily Ever After, but you’re scared to even wonder if you could.
- You have no clue who you really are, but it’s not who (or where) you thought you would be by now.
- You deny and ignore your own needs and desires and feel guilty for even considering them; sometimes you feel like an invisible woman.
- You’re worried that what you want will ruin everyone else’s life (kids, family, friends), so it feels easier to bury what you really want.
- Your sex life is depressing at best, non-existent at worst and you crave connection, intimacy, great sex and romance with someone who truly ‘sees’ you.
- You’re so used to putting everyone else first, you don’t even know what you want anymore (or you’re too afraid to own it).
- You’re fed up with following the ‘template’ life that others (parents? family? friends?) think you should live and want to live YOUR life on your own terms.
- You’ve no idea what time to yourself or a life that doesn’t revolve solely around your kids and/or work looks like anymore, but you’re starting to crave something (more) for yourself.
- Your self care often comes last; it feels frivolous rather than necessary for you to spend time and money to look and feel good.
- When you see yourself in 5, 10 or 20 years time, you look at your partner and either want to run for the hills knowing you don’t want to spend your passionate, confident, midlife years (and beyond) with them, or you want to totally renegotiate the terms of your relationship.
- You’re scared it’s too late for you, and you have no idea how to even begin to make a change…
- You really fancy your best mate and fantasise about running off and being lesbians together (or is that just us?!)
If so, we can relate! Two years ago we embarked on our own awakening, to explore and create our long-denied Happily Ever After and although it was scary at first, we’ve never looked back…
While many people associate mid life with the proverbial crisis, for us here at LemonAid we like to think of it as more of an Awakening, and not necessarily one that happens in mid life.
Brené Brown talks about the message the Universe gives us about this midlife ‘unraveling’…
“I’m not screwing around. All of this pretending and performing – these coping mechanisms that you’ve developed to protect yourself from feeling inadequate and getting hurt – has to go. Your armor is preventing you from growing into your gifts. I understand that you needed these protections when you were small. I understand that you believed your armor could help you secure all of the things you needed to feel worthy and lovable, but you’re still searching and you’re more lost than ever. Time is growing short. There are unexplored adventures ahead of you.
You can’t live the rest of your life worried about what other people think. You were born worthy of love and belonging. Courage and daring are coursing through your veins. You were made to live and love with your whole heart. It’s time to show up and be seen.”
So what can LemonAid offer you?
Put simply we’re here to share our own journeys to Happily Ever After with you in the hope it will inspire, provide courage and a sense of solidarity at whatever age the Universe comes knocking.
Whether your initial Awakening is as dramatic as ours or it’s a more gentle unfolding and growing awareness, we’re all in it together, as a community, to support, celebrate, empathise, laugh, commiserate, cry or simply listen to each other.
We’ve literally been there, are in the middle of it and are now wearing (and selling) the T shirt! Our own journey has impacted every aspect of our lives – every spoke of the wheel of life: Wellness, Abundance, Relationships, Personal Growth, Fun, Contribution, Love, Sex & Romance, and Purpose and it’s these experiences that we share on LemonAid.
You can enjoy your own LemonAid in the following ways…
Read our Blog For a Dose Of Courage – We regularly write about the highs, the lows and everything in between on this journey of ours to Happily Ever After. Some of this is public but some of the more private (yep we talk about sex, jealousy, anger, fear – all the trickiest and juiciest bits!) are for Lemonaiders only. We write many of these as love letters to each other and as one of our subscribers commented “Reading your posts makes me feel braver – not about anything in particular but your honesty and way of writing helps me feel more confident…”
Get Inspired By Tuning In To Our Podcasts – Listen in on what other people’s awakenings sound like and take inspiration from some of the interesting folk we meet on our own journey – from Tantra teachers to Glass Blowers.
Become A LemonAider and Join the Community -Not feeling alone in this journey to Happily Ever After feels like a crucial piece of the puzzle; for inspiration, solidarity, a sense of belonging and togetherness, plus emotional and practical support, join the LemonAid Community. We meet online, offline and do the fun stuff as well as some of the deeper ‘work’, together.
Bag Some Goodies In Our Shop – T shirts, mugs and other delights for a dose of inspiration, a regular reminder, and some humour to keep you going, and give us all a sense of solidarity along the way.
The Backstory Of Our Journeys…
Just over two years ago, I was in a relationship with my children’s father, a man I didn’t love and had known for a long time I could not be happy or fulfilled with. Partly, but not exclusively, because I thought I might be gay.
I desperately wanted intimacy, closeness, love and romance but was terrified of them too.
I had an autoimmune condition and was frequently depressed. I owned my own home but it didn’t feel anything like the home I would have created for myself.
I’d had therapy but felt no nearer to getting to the nub of my ‘stuff’.
I was skint from trying to somehow be self employed to manage my health, but finding my health was made worse by feeling utterly creatively unfulfilled.
This was NOT the happily ever after I’d dreamed of! Life, it felt, had delivered a truck load of lemons…but boy was I ready to make lemonaid!Becky
Just over two years ago, I was living in a state of apparent domestic bliss with my husband – a man I’d been with since my teens – and two children in a country cottage, with an acre of garden and a Volvo in the driveway.
Having lived a fairly unconventional life until then, one day, as I looked out of the window of my rural idyll, and wondered how the hell I’d ended up there, I knew instinctively that something needed to change (and soon). This was most definitely NOT my Happily Ever After…
Having always felt I was gay from the age of 17, I knew I didn’t want to ‘settle’ for a life/relationship that would have felt like it (I) was serving others while denying what I really wanted (though I knew this really would have been a disservice to everyone else too).
Alongside this, having been adopted from birth, it was something I’d never really explored or wanted to. Enter Becky…Lea
Now we can’t tell you that in the space of a week we were in a new and perfect relationship together, Becky was suddenly cured (of illness not gayness!!), that her mental health and confidence suddenly sky rocketed and that we were both earning millions; while that may sound like our ideal Happily Ever After, what we actually got felt even better than that….
Today we are in a relationship (with the right gender, finally!), we are totally loved up, and actually ‘do’ intimacy and romance! (A BIG deal for Becky after working pretty intensely through her blocks around it together).
We are both in therapy working through our painful childhood wounds and for Lea this has included looking for the first time at the after effects of her adoption.
To be in a relationship where we can process this work together has been refreshing, painful, life affirming, infuriating (there’s nowhere to hide) and ultimately very healing. We each work on our own individual creative endeavours, and then there’s LemonAid, our joint labour of love.
So What Is LemonAid?
Ultimately, it’s a love story. It’s a story about how – at the grand old ages of 39 and 42 – we individually made some life-changing decisions and ended up together, carving out a life for ourselves and our 4 children, to rediscover who we are – as individuals, as a couple and as a blended family.
Far from a crisis, it feels like an awakening (though we’re sure some of our family will heartily disagree with that!!). We are co-creating our Happily Ever After, and we’d love to share our journey with other women doing the same…
Why LemonAid? Well, that’s a nod to…
- The use of the word ‘lemons’ to mean lesbians.
- The fact that us being together has been much needed ‘first aid’ for the lives we were living.
- Filling in the missing parts – of working through our ‘stuff’ together, of doing things that make us feel good and of giving back.
- The saying “when life gives you lemons make lemonade” – because we intend to make the most of the decisions we’ve made, despite the challenges (and there are still many), and make far more than just lemonade. We want our Happily Ever After 😉
- The perfect kind of LemonAid is a balance of sweet and sour – because the sour makes the sweet taste that little bit sweeter, and vice versa!
What Exactly Do We Do Here At LemonAid?
We first began blogging here because we wanted to share more of the realities of what life is like when you make a big leap, and we wanted a place to capture the ups and downs of life when you leap, for our own personal purposes but also to share some of the experience with folk we knew were curious.
We started off by sharing mostly the upsides – because if you’re going to do what we’ve done – leave long term relationships, turn our children’s worlds upside-down, start a relationship with one of your best friends, then face the judgment and opinions of friends and family – there better damn well be some upsides! But they’re only part of the story…the other part – the hard stuff, the problems, the challenges – paints a more authentic picture of what our lives are really like behind the fun stuff, so we share that here too.
Our mission with LemonAid – taken directly from our plan – is this: To build a profitable, values-driven business by sharing our own experiences of a MIDLIFE AWAKENING and creating our Happily Ever After with HONESTY and INTEGRITY, with people who have the COURAGE and AWAKE-NESS to pursue their own.
We want to show others that it IS possible to survive thrive through an crisis awakening, and live life on your own terms…and we and the rest of the LemonAid community are here to support you through your own.