Lemon List

So, it seems somewhat churlish, during what everyone else considers a mid-life crisis (despite the fact that to us it feels like the sanest life choice we’ve ever made!) not to have made a bucket list. Well dear reader, churlish we shall not be called, for a Lemonaid bucket list there is…

Now we kind of take issue with the term ‘bucket’ list, for various reasons. First we don’t want a list of things to do before we die, we want a list of things to do to feel and celebrate the joy of being alive! Second, well, after two children the word bucket takes on a whole new complexion (Lea had caesareans, so she’s currently gloating!!).

The Lemon List, as it has been renamed, is available for your perusal below and will probably be added to at various points. So apart from feeling like an obligatory part of the perceived crisis (aka emerging maturity??!) why a lemon list? What exactly is the point of sharing a list of stuff that we want to do and writing about it?

Well, it feels like an intrinsic part of the fizz in this LemonAid. After all, you don’t leave the father of your children, upset their, his and your life to be miserable. We’ve done this to be happiness catchers, to open ourselves up to more joy, delight, love and fun. To be committed to living in an authentic and wholehearted way (don’t vomit, ’tis the truth). Lea was once ‘accused’ of living a life of pleasure, to which she was in full agreement that this was exactly her aim in life! This was not the expected response…I think she was supposed to feel ashamed. Not very Lea!

Yet we often feel guilty for this, believe that life should be hard or a struggle, that we must ‘work hard’ to deserve any good. For anyone who’s read any of Pam Grout’s books, you’ll know that this belief is just that, a belief. Not fact. Pam advocates greeting all experiences with joy (even the shitty ones) to open us up to unlimited happiness, believing that “the Universe is limitless, abundant and strangely accommodating”.

For me, Becky, it’s about accessing my free inner child – you know who that is…it’s the part of you you would have been before all your stuff got in the way. My free child quite often pops out but never for quite as long as I’d like. She usually gets spooked by ‘shoulds’ and ‘normal’ life and expectations that go against who she is and what she wants to do. What I want is Pam pumped into me intravenously 24/7! – That sounds so wrong now I’m an outed dyke :0

So, our lemon list, we hope, will allow our spontaneous, happy, carefree, joyous little children to ‘come out’ to play, and, may just inspire yours out too! Right, off to manifest our menoporsche…


  • Go to a gay club together
  • Go to a Kate Rusby concert (Dec 2017)
  • Be part of a TV audience (Graham Norton’s ideally!)
  • Get a photo of Becky holding her published book being sold in a bookshop
  • Take part in gay pride event/parade (September 2018 – Totnes)
  • Go to friends or have friends round for dinner, as a couple
  • Go on a Tantra retreat
  • Do the One World Festival (July 2017)
  • Go to a Comedy Gig
  • Take Lea to Glasto
  • Have piano lessons again (Becky)
  • Go to a Burlesque Show (March 2017)
  • Hire out a youth hostel for New Year
  • Under the Stars Festival
  • Take Becky to Wimbledon
  • Segway
  • Glass Blowing (Lea) (June 2018)
  • Go Ape
  • Get tattoos – woohoo midlife criiiiiiisiiiiiis!!!!
  • Music gig (Taylor Swift at Wembley!! June 2018)
  • Do a photo shoot
  • Teach Becky guitar (in progress…slowly!)

Home & Family

  • Get a dog
  • Get married!
  • Live together
  • Build our own Eco home by the sea
  • Family Photoshoot
  • Stay in North Norfolk (at Wild Luxury) with all the kids (April 2018)
  • Meet Lea’s birth mother (and family) together
  • Take all the kids to London together
  • Go on holiday to Devon with the kids (Jul/Aug 2018)
  • Go on holiday abroad with the kids

Giving Back

  • Community project along Becky’s terrace. (In progress!)
  • Community Christmas Dinner for people alone over the festive period
  • Foodbank Reverse Advent Calendar
  • Take part in a charity event overseas e.g. charity bike ride
  • Make more time for our older neighbours
  • Busk for charity


  • Overnight trip to London
  • Go to Becky’s old stomping grounds in Devon (August 2017)
  • See (and sleep under) the Northern lights
  • Go to NYC
  • Go to HK
  • Spend time in Philippines
  • Spa day at Eden Hall
  • Go on a safari in Africa
  • Enjoy an exotic beach holiday
  • Visit the blue lagoon in Iceland
  • Go to Barcelona
  • Trip on a (luxury) sleeper train
  • Visit Vancouver & surrounding mountains
  • Visit a German Christmas market (in Germany)
  • Go to Cape Town
  • Go to Edinburgh
  • Go to Ireland
  • Honeymoon in the Maldives
  • Visit Bath Spa. (Feb 2017)
  • Go abroad with the kids