As women, we are so unused to asking for what we want that we spend most of our lives not getting it…
Whether it’s settling for mediocre sex because we’re too embarrassed to ask for what we really want in the bedroom (or out of it!!), doing everything ourselves because what’s the point in asking for help, it’ll just take longer, not asking for a pay rise because we’re not sure we deserve it or not carving out time for ourselves to do frivolous things because hey the planet might self destruct if we did!
We find ourselves stuck in a life we never imagined for ourselves – here at LemonAid we know firsthand how that feels! But we’re all smart women right? So how the hell did we end up here?
Guilt plays a big part in not asking for what we want, which – when we are surrounded by messages of what being a woman/wife/mother/daughter/sister ‘should’ look like: selfless, putting others first, martyrdom – is hardly bloody surprising.
Denying what we want (to ourselves and others) because it goes against the grain of what other people – family, friends, colleagues – expect from us; so instead we play the ‘good girl’, keep the peace, and meet everyone else’s needs instead of acknowledging our own.
Fear of what people will think if we dare to step out of our usual roles and consider asking for something more for ourselves, especially if that looks very different to how people currently experience us.
…However, the problem is even deeper than this because often the reason we don’t ask is because we rarely even consider what it is that we might want in the first place!
Why Spend Your Precious Time On This Course?
When you’re stuck in the daily grind of life, it’s hard to take any time for yourself (especially with all that guilt flying around) to think about:
- Where your life might actually be headed.
- Whether that’s where you want it to be going.
- What to do about it, if it’s not!
We’ve created this course to give you…
- A glorious spell of child-free, uninterrupted time to think about no-one but yourself for a change.
- Space to reflect on where you are in your life and what you might want to change before it feels like it’s too late.
- Encouragement to dare to dream of the things – big or small – that would be, quite literally, life changing for you.
What You’ll Be Doing On This Course…
This is a two-day course, divided into four parts over the two days. The two days are held two weeks apart to give you chance to process the impact – the insights, emotions and awakenings – of the first day, during which you will have precious time and space to think about what you really want.
We recognise that some of the answers to the question “What do you want?” will bubble up after the first session rather than during it. When we reconvene, you will likely then have a more detailed idea of exactly what you want to put into action.
Day 1: Asking For What You Want…
Part 1: During our morning session together, we’ll explore the idea of asking for what you want.
In our experience, asking women what they want rarely elicits a simple response. When you’ve spent so long putting everyone else’s needs first, that question can be a bit of a shock to the system! After the laughter of the initial one-liners about winning the lottery or having a live-in chef, cleaner and masseuse, silence often ensues as people begin to struggle…
“What do I want?” leads on to “What do I actually like doing?”, “What makes me happy?” and not long after “Who the fuck am I?”. When the answers to these questions are not immediately forthcoming that can lead to panic!
Fear not! Together we will explore several key areas of your life, uncover where you’re settling and not asking for or getting what you want, and help you work out why this is. You don’t need to figure out exactly what you want just yet…sometimes working out what you don’t want is the first step!
Part 2: After a lunch break, we’ll gather together again for you to complete your own Awakening Board – our version of a Vision Board.
This is the hands-on, practical, fun part of the workshop where you’ll be cutting, sticking and creating to bring your Awakening into visual form. Your Awakening Board can look however you want, so get creative – anything goes! Words, pictures, quotes, drawings, doodles, photos, whatever gets you excited about bringing your wants to life!
In Between Day 1 and Day 2…
The space between the two days is a time for you to reflect on your Awakening Board and, if you want, to refine it. Sometimes it takes a bit longer to work out what you really want, so play with it and use this time to add more wants or remove ones that don’t feel right.
You’ll have a Facebook Group to stay in touch with us and your fellow course participants between the days so you can share any insights or discuss things that come up for you after Day One.
Day 2: Making Your Own LemonAid…
Part 3: Two weeks after the first workshop, we shall reconvene to complete the second day of the course and look at all our “Yes, buts”.
These are the annoying little blighters that will stop you from bringing your Awakening Board into being. As with many things, awareness is the first step on the path to change, so it’s hugely valuable to shine a light on any dark, dusty corners which might have the capacity to trip you up as you move forward down your chosen path.
Part 4: In the final part of the workshop, we’ll be showing you how to create a one-page plan.
This plan will help bring the things on your board into being. If your Awakening Board is the treasure, then think of your plan as the map and compass to get there…with a built in kick up the butt (well ok that last bit might be an added extra from us!) With a map, a compass and a kind but firm ass kick you’ll be all kitted up and ready to actually take action, embark upon your own awakening and, of course, create your own LemonAid!
Where + When + What To Bring
The course is held at a lovely, local venue in the centre of Newark-upon-Trent. The dates for the next course are:
- Asking For What You Want (parts 1 + 2): Saturday 12th January 2018
- From 10am until 3pm.
- Lunch break from 12-1pm.
- Making Your Own LemonAid (parts 3 + 4): Saturday 26th January 2019
- From 10am until 3pm.
- Lunch break from 12-1pm.
You are welcome to bring lunch and eat at the venue or use your hour for some more unadulterated YOU time (we might demand to check any purchases are suitably frivolous and ONLY for you!)
We will provide the following to keep you refreshed and help you create your Awakening Board:
- Water, tea, herbal teas and coffee upon arrival.
- A stack of magazines.
- Glue and sticky tape.
- Card to use as a canvas for your board.
You might like to bring the following:
- Snacks and your lunch; or enjoy lunch at one of the local eateries (we’re happy to recommend our favourites).
- Any specific magazines you know you’d like to use images from.
- Your favourite pair of scissors, if you have one!
- Anything that inspires you, motivates you or awakens you (crystals, mantras, trinkets etc.).
That’s a really good question! If you’re going to invest some of your precious time on a course focused on your personal growth, why do it with us? Here’s why we’re uniquely ‘qualified’ to run a course like this…
I’ve spent most of my life as a people pleaser and constantly putting others’ needs before my own. In my 30s, this caused an autoimmune illness (fibromyalgia).
Two years ago – after several years focused on child-rearing, limited professionally by my health condition, and in a relationship that was unhealthy for both parties – I felt like l had nothing to get up for, compounded by the crippling guilt that even my children weren’t enough of a motivation. Cue my own awakening!
So what? Well, I know what it’s like to feel like your life’s in the toilet, to feel like you have nothing for yourself, and that you’re drowning in so much shit (literally and emotionally!) that you can’t even think of how to make the tiniest of changes. And I know how it feels to finally wake up from that fog and start to do something about it, even when shit mountain feels insurmountable!
With a Masters in Social Science and a lifelong curiosity for what makes people tick, I’m fascinated by the deeper narratives that keep people rooted and stuck where they are. I’ve completed various counselling courses including studying for a Counselling Diploma, NLP and other personal development tools to understand and unravel where people’s ‘stuff’ comes from, and in my efforts to understand and heal my own health condition, I qualified as a Louise Hay ‘You Can Heal Your Life’ trainer and worked in group and 1-to-1 settings to help other women understand the connection between their emotions and their body, and the underlying dynamics.
So what? I am a highly sensitive, high feeling nurturer with a natural desire to gather people together, build community and – people pleasing in full force! – ensure everyone’s ok. I look for the underlying patterns, dynamics and root causes, and can usually ‘feel’ what’s going on for someone, sometimes even before they feel it themselves.
I’ve spent the past decade running my own business and creating a pretty unconventional life for myself.
Two years ago – as you’ve probably gathered from the rest of this website – I ramped it up a notch further and walked away from the life I’d created – with a husband, cottage in the country and Volvo in the driveway – to start a new, different one, together with Becky. On top of that, I finally started unravelling my own personal history by exploring the fact I’d been adopted from birth by British parents in HK, and discovering the narratives I’d always been told around that were only a part of the whole story.
So what? Well, these past 2 years have been pivotal, life changing and an absolute awakening to discover a me I never knew existed. I know how it feels to be in utter denial that your past has affected you in any way – yes, as Becky will gleefully tell you, I did once utter the words: “I don’t think my adoption’s really affected me” – only to start to realise that “Oh FFS, it’s affected me in EVERY which way possible”. If that’s not a rude awakening, I don’t know what is!
Professionally, since 2006 I’ve run a number of businesses that have focused on coaching, mentoring, training and supporting other like-minded folk to create their own life of freedom. I have run a number of events, conferences, workshops and courses, and supported numerous groups – online and in person – through life-changing work.
So what? I am action-oriented, a tech geek, a strategic planner by nature and thrive on challenges. Just tell me what it is you want to do and where it is you want to get to, and I’ll usually be able to find any number of creative options to achieve it and get you there.
About Us Together
We are a little like Yin and Yang; Becky typically draws on a more feminine energy, Lea typically draws on a more masculine energy. Where Becky feels, Lea thinks. Where Lea’s direct questions can get right to the point, Becky’s gentler approach can soften that blow, without diminishing it!
Becky’s happy to ask the ‘silly’ questions when it comes to technology, business, etc. when everyone else is afraid to and Lea forgets that not everyone is as technically-inclined or business-oriented as she is!
When we’re standing in our power and share our own vulnerabilities (which we’ve both had to work on, and it’s still a work in progress!), we excel at getting people to open up, talk about their own shit, and share their vulnerability too. Coffee dates with us are usually deep, impactful and not full of the fluffy, superficial ‘niceness’ that pervade so many of the interactions many of us are used to and settle for.
Our goal is to bring our full selves to this course – to be our genuine, authentic selves and share this with you – in the hope that you will too.